Planning ahead is a gift to yourself and loved ones
Featured answer
Advance care planning is the process of thinking about, discussing, and documenting the care you would want if you could not speak for yourself. It begins with honest conversations and often includes written instructions called advance directives.
Why this matters
Planning makes it more likely you will receive care that aligns with your values. Research from the National Institute on Aging shows that having these conversations and documenting your wishes improves the chance that your preferences will be honored and reduces stress for loved ones. Emergencies can happen at any age. My friend, Brandon, died in his thirties, and since then I've been focused on reminding folks that death doesn't come with an age maximum or limit.
Quick summary
1. Reflect on what a good quality of life means to you.
2. Talk with people you trust about your wishes.
3. Record key preferences in writing through a living will and/or a health care proxy.
4. Review your plan regularly and update it as your life changes.
Step‑by‑step guide
Step 1: Reflect
Take a quiet moment to consider what brings you comfort and purpose. Would you pursue every possible treatment, or would you choose comfort over length of life in certain situations? Write down these reflections.
Step 2: Learn your options
Understand common medical interventions, such as ventilation, resuscitation, and palliative care. Knowing what these terms mean will help you make informed choices. The National Institute on Aging offers a clear overview of advance care planning and related documents: source.
Step 3: Choose a health care proxy
Pick someone you trust to speak for you if you are unable.
Discuss your values with this person and provide copies of any completed documents.
Step 4: Talk with family
Share your hopes and concerns. Ask loved ones for their questions and listen without rushing. Beginning with stories about what makes you happy can ease into the deeper discussion.
Step 5: Document your wishes
Complete a living will to specify which treatments you would accept or refuse, and consider a durable power of attorney to appoint your proxy. Many state‑specific forms can be found through hospitals or online.
Step 6: Review and update
Revisit your plan after significant life events such as marriage, the birth of a child, or a new diagnosis, or at least once a year to ensure it still reflects your wishes.
Key terms explained
Advance directives – Legal documents that guide your care if you cannot make decisions for yourself.
Living will – A document that specifies which life‑sustaining treatments you would accept or refuse if you were unable to speak for yourself.
Durable power of attorney for health care – A document that names a person (your health care proxy) to make medical decisions on your behalf if you cannot communicate.
Gentle prompts to begin the conversation
– “What experiences have been most meaningful to you in your life?”
– “Are there treatments you would definitely want or prefer to avoid if you were seriously ill?”
– “Who would you trust to speak for you if you couldn’t speak for yourself?”
A tool to help you start
If you’d like guidance, Kinnect’s What Matters Most reflection tool offers a private, physician‑designed exercise you can complete at your own pace. It helps clarify your values and creates a summary you can save or share. The tool is free and keeps your responses private: Kinnect's What Matters Most
FAQ
Is advance care planning legally required?
No. It is optional. Many people choose to complete advance directives so their preferences are clear.
Do I need both a living will and a health care proxy?
Using both gives the clearest guidance: the living will covers specific treatments, while the proxy can make decisions in unforeseen situations.
Can I change my plan later?
Yes. You can update your documents whenever your feelings or circumstances change.
Taking control of your future care is an act of kindness, to yourself and to those who care about you.
At Kinnect, we built tools like What Matters Most because our founder, Omar Alvarez, saw in telehealth how much comfort honest planning can bring. We hope this guide helps you begin the conversation.
